so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
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