I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Randomize
