that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
