Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I think I am morally bankrupt
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
it was like eating out sand paper
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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