I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
