If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
