It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
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