capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
