is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
