You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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