Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
