Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
My vagina is officially offended.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
