So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize