your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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