to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Randomize
