You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
