I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Randomize
