You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize