just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
We have started to decorate penises.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
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