our cab driver is having phone sex.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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