K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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