Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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