This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
