Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
