no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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