go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
