If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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