So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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