Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I think I won the penis lottery.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
