he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
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