shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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