your parents love me but you hate me
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Randomize
