just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
