So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Randomize
