You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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