summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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