I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
And then my night got REAL pukey
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
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