Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
