You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
