I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
