Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Randomize
