I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
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