worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
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