he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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