just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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