I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
