Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
i now understand why vodka
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
