I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
