Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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