Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
