CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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