I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
