making cat noises will not fix the situation.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I came so hard my ears popped.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
