So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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