They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
