i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
