Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
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