I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Randomize
