What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
