oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
