I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
