Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Randomize