You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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