Im at strip club and am horny
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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