The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
