im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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