Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
