i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
