She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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