so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
