Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
