I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
