This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Randomize
