hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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