i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
