Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Randomize
