Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
