we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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